a nervous looking piggy bank looking at a stack of coins representing financial anxiety. we offer therapy for millennials to address financial anxiety.

Financial anxiety can feel overwhelming. Many millennials experience it, even when they have enough resources. It's a mix of fear and stress about money, often tied to the pressures and expectations unique to our generation. As professionals who offer therapy for millennials, we see this showing up quite a bit. Interestingly, it shows up equally across income levels.

What is Financial Anxiety?

Financial anxiety isn't about lacking money. It's the worry and stress about finances that persist even when there's no immediate shortage. You might find yourself constantly thinking about money, feeling uneasy about spending, or losing sleep over future financial security. These feelings don't line up with the dollar amount in your bank account. In fact, research suggests that acquiring wealth does not make financial anxiety go away.

Psychological Triggers of Financial Anxiety

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

FOMO can quickly lead to overspending on activities and lifestyle choices. It creates a sense that you're missing out if you're not keeping up with peers. It also can create a sense that you should be able to afford things because your friends can.

Example: Maria often joins friends for expensive dinners and trips, fearing she'll miss out on experiences. Her credit card bill is always much higher than she expects at the end of the month, which adds to her financial anxiety. She's not sure how she's going to be able to keep this pace going, but she doesn't know how to slow down. She would be embarrassed to tell her friends she can't afford something.

Perfectionism and Pressure to Succeed

Millennials often face pressure to achieve certain financial milestones by a specific age. This can lead to anxiety when reality doesn't match these expectations.

Example: John feels he should own a home by age 30, like his parents did. But the markets are vastly differen than they were when his parents bought a house and the amount he'd need to save for a downpayment feels enormous. This goal adds stress, especially since he's still paying off student loans. He feels like a failure because he doesn't own a home.

Family and Historical Attitudes About Money

This is where most financial anxiety comes from: our early experiences and messages about money. If you grew up in a household with food insecurity or inconsistent access to other necessities, you are likely to develop financial anxiety. But it can be subtler, too. Often our anxiety is fueled by the quiet messaging our parents give us about money. Their own history and trauma around money inform what they teach us. So it's not just the financial history of your immediate family, but their caregivers and the caregivers before them. Financial anxiety and trauma is highly heritable.

Common Trauma Messages About Money

"Money is the root of all evil"

This message implies that money inherently leads to immoral behavior or corrupts individuals. This can make people avoidant or embarrassed to attend to their finances, leading to less knowledge and more anxiety. They may experience shame about acquiring wealth.

a woman holding her phone and a bank statement looking shocked representing financial anxiety. we offer therapy for millennials to conquer anxiety around money

"There's never enough"

This belief suggests that no matter how much money one has, it will never be e to meet their needs or desires. It promotes a scarcity mentality, which can make people afraid to spend money on things they enjoy or even need. This is often a belief in households that experience true scarcity, but can also promote greed and misallocation.

"Money doesn't grow on trees"

Often used to convey that money is scarce and must be earned through hard work and sacrifice. It can create an odd sense of what is prioritized.

"Rich people are greedy"

While it is true that some rich people are greedy, there are also greedy poor people and greedy middle class people. Greed is a trait, not a dollar amount. This statement fosters distrust or resentment towards those who are financially successful. It's true that some people get rich through greed, there are many people who get rich and are generous and benevolent.

"Money can't buy happiness"

Research suggests that making a certain amount actually does have a notable impact on happiness. The amount needed varies by city depending on cost of living. This message can downplay the importance of financial stability and security in overall well-being. We do support focusing on having a well-rounded life with fulfilling relationships, work, good health, and hobbies, in addition to financial security.

"Debt is shameful"

Debt can carry a stigma, leading people to feel ashamed or embarrassed about their financial situation. This is true even if it's a result of circumstances beyond their control. The response to shame is often to avoid or withdraw.

"I can't be trusted with money"

Often due to lack of information, many people make financial mistakes. Wracking up credit card debt, making large purchases, or living outside your means can have big consequences. People who face these consequences often conclude that they can't be trusted with money. But everyone makes mistakes and that doesn't make them inherently untrustworthy. If you can accept the consequences and work to repair the mistake, you can build back up to trusting yourself with money.

"You have to work hard to earn money"

While work ethic is important, it also denies the reality that many people are wealthy through inheritance, investment, or luck. Inheritance, investment, and luck do not require any hard work. They are happenstance or strategic.

"Money is a measure of worth"

Equating self-worth with your bank account can lead to feelings of inadequacy if you don't meet societal standards of wealth. Money is not a measure of your worth. It's a measure of access to resources, often not determined by many things you can control.

a couple looking at financial documents together representing how couples can talk about money to have a stronger relationship. we offer couples therapy in california & florida for millennials to have better relationships and less financial anxiety.

"Money causes conflict"

It's true that many people get funny about money. It's a common sore spot for many couples. But disagreements about money don't inevitably lead to ruptures in relationships. In fact, being aligned and collaborative with money can strengthen relationships. Rather than money causing conflict, we believe it's a lack of boundaries with money that causes conflict.

Other Factors Influencing Millennial Financial Anxiety

Millennial Student Loan Debt

Student loans are a significant burden for many millennials. Even after graduating and finding a job, the thought of repaying these loans can be daunting. This constant pressure can lead to a feeling of helplessness. As the first generation to face this financial reality, we were unprepared and uneducated about what student loan debt meant. We started adult life feeling financially crushed.

Example: Sarah graduated with a degree in psychology and landed a decent job. However, her $70,000 student loan debt looms over her. Even though she manages her expenses well, the thought of this debt keeps her awake at night.

Job Market and Career Uncertainty

The job market today is more competitive and less stable than it was for previous generations. Many millennials face contract work, gig jobs, and frequent job changes. This instability makes it hard to feel financially secure.

Example: Alex, a freelance graphic designer, loves the flexibility of his job. But the irregular income and lack of benefits make him anxious about his financial future.

Social Media Pressure

Social media often shows a curated version of people's lives. Seeing peers’ vacations, new cars, or home purchases can create unrealistic comparisons and pressure to keep up.

Example: Jamie often scrolls through Instagram, seeing friends traveling and buying expensive items. Even though Jamie is doing well, these images create an unnecessary sense of inadequacy and financial stress.

a woman holding her head looking stressed with five dollars and a few receipts on the table in front of her representing financial anxiety. we offer trauma therapy and emdr therapy for money stress.

High Cost of Living

Living in urban areas like San Francisco or Los Angeles where rent and living expenses are high adds another layer of financial stress. This is especially true when salaries don't keep pace with the cost of living.

Example: Chris moved to San Francisco for a tech job. Despite a good salary, the high cost of rent and living expenses leaves little room for savings, causing constant financial worry.

Coping Strategies for Millennial Financial Anxiety

Identifying Your Financial Trauma Messages

From the list above, what money message did you internalize? Was it one of scarcity? Lack of responsibility? Shame? Sit with the thing that feels "true" about money that other people don't always agree with. Explore where that message came from and if you want to continue believing it.

Financial Education

Knowledge is power. Learning about personal finance can help reduce anxiety. There are many resources available, from books to online courses, that cover budgeting, investing, and saving. Consider taking a personal finance course online. There are many free courses that can help you understand and manage your finances better.

Creating a Financial Plan

A well-structured financial plan can provide a sense of control. Start with small steps like setting up an emergency fund, tracking your expenses, and setting achievable financial goals. Use budgeting tools like YNAB (You Need A Budget) to track your spending. Setting aside even a small amount each month for savings can build a buffer against financial stress.

Often using tools can trigger a strong physical feeling of anxiety. This can be useful for the next strategy: mindfulness.

Mindfulness and Stress Management

Mindfulness techniques, like meditation and journaling, can help manage stress. These practices help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the future. Here's how to start: when you are feeling anxious, locate the sensation in your body. Just notice what it feels like without trying to change it. Often, noticing the feeling helps take the edge off of it and starts a slow shift to calm. Labeling a feeling as anxiety can take some of its power away. Journaling your financial worries and goals can also provide clarity and relief.

Therapy For Financial Anxiety

Speaking with a therapist can offer support and strategies for managing financial anxiety. They can help you reframe your thoughts, heal your trauma messaging, and develop healthier coping habits.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by financial anxiety, you're not alone, and help is available. We offer specialized therapy for millennials in California and Florida. Our therapists understand the pressures millennials face. Schedule a free consultation today to start your journey towards financial calm.