How To Respond to Your EMDR Therapist Asking "What Do You Notice?"
If you've ever been in an EMDR therapy session, you might be familiar with the moment when your therapist asks, "What do you notice?" It's a simple question, yet it's not always obvious how to answer. It can sometimes leave us feeling uncertain about how to respond. Let's explore why your EMDR therapist asks this question and how to approach it.
Why Does Your EMDR Therapist Ask What You Notice?
When your EMDR therapist asks what you notice, they're getting information about how your brain has stored an upsetting memory. This question is almost always asked during bilateral stimulation, or BLS. BLS is when side-to-side eye movement, sound, or touch is used to process trauma.
EMDR therapy targets traumatic memories stored in your brain's neural network. Reprocessing them alleviates associated distress. Your EMDR therapist's question serves as a window into this complex process. Think of it almost as a loose association question. When someone says the word "candy cane" you might think of the colors red and white, or the taste of peppermint. Your brain does the same thing with traumatic memories. So even if what you “notice” doesn’t feel related to the trauma, you should still name it.
Exploring Associations in Trauma Therapy
When asked what you notice, your mind may go to a variety of experiences: images, feelings, body sensations, thoughts, or distractions. These are the associations your brain is making as it explores the labyrinth of your trauma memory. Whatever comes up, it's normal. Even if it feels completely unrelated to the trauma, just name it. Don't overthink it.
There Are No Wrong Answers In EMDR Therapy
Here's the truth: there's no incorrect answer when your EMDR therapist asks what you notice. The only wrong answer would be a dishonest one. Whether you're aware of subtle shifts in your body or overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, your response gives insight into your experience of the trauma.
Keeping Your Response Short
Most EMDR therapists want you to keep your responses to their questions brief. We don't want to pause the trauma processing too long to chat. A sentence or two is plenty, so long as you are able to stay in the experience.
Common Things People Notice in EMDR Therapy
When your EMDR therapist asks, "What do you notice?" your mind may go to images, feelings, body sensations, thoughts, or distractions. Each person's response is unique and valid. Here are some of the most common responses we hear. It's important to answer the question honestly based on your experience, without letting this article sway you.
Noticing Images In EMDR Therapy
Some people might recall vivid images related to their trauma or experiences during EMDR processing. These images could be fleeting snapshots or significant moments. If you're noticing images when your EMDR therapist prompts you, be honest about it. If you'd rather not share details of the image, or if it's too difficult to verbalize, that's okay. You can say, "I'm noticing an upsetting image I'd rather not describe." Most EMDR therapists will be fine with this and processing can continue.
Noticing Emotions In EMDR Therapy
Emotions play a significant role in our experiences. You may become aware of feelings during EMDR therapy, such as sadness, fear, anger, or even relief. If your primary experience is emotional when your EMDR therapist prompts you, communicate the emotion. If you struggle to name the emotion, that's okay. You can say, “I’m noticing an intense emotion that’s hard to name.” It can sometimes be helpful to locate the emotion in your body.
Noticing Body Sensations In EMDR Therapy
Your body can provide powerful cues during EMDR therapy. Tons of research suggests that trauma is primarily stored in the body, and somatic healing is highly effective. This doesn't mean noticing body sensations is the only way to do EMDR. But if you do notice strong or uncomfortable body sensations, you're normal and it's a sign you're accessing trauma effectively. You might notice tension, discomfort, relaxation, or warmth in different parts of your body. All are correct. If you primarily notice body sensations, this is how you answer your EMDR therapist's question.
Noticing Thoughts In EMDR Therapy
You might notice specific thoughts or patterns of thinking that arise as you reflect on your experiences. You might notice yourself looping on a thought or idea. You might notice negative beliefs about yourself or the world coming up in a big way. If that's your experience, that's how you answer this question.
Sometimes, we notice that people who primarily notice thoughts can get a little stuck with trauma processing. That's okay, and you're not doing anything wrong. But your EMDR therapist might have more success helping you process if you're able to access an emotion or body sensation in addition to the thought. If you're feeling stuck in EMDR therapy, ask your EMDR therapist to help you tune into your body and emotions as well.
Noticing Distractions and External Interruptions In EMDR Therapy
Sometimes, external distractions come up during EMDR therapy. These distractions could be anything from your foot itching, a dog barking, or wondering what to make for dinner. These are welcome! And believe it or not, they may not be as disruptive to your trauma healing as you think. Sometimes, distractions can help us get grounded in the present moment, reminding us that the upsetting thing is over. This can be a welcome relief in EMDR therapy, and can enhance your processing and resourcing. If you get distracted, just tell your EMDR therapist. They will help you refocus on the memory. You might even notice it feels different when you do.
Noticing Doubt About EMDR Therapy's Effectiveness
Listen, EMDR therapy looks and feels pretty weird. We think about upsetting things and move our eyes and tap? What the heck? It's totally normal to question what you've gotten yourself into. In fact, we'd be worried if no one questioned a strange modality like EMDR. If you notice doubts coming up when your EMDR therapist asks, just say so. When this happens to us as EMDR therapists, we smile and agree it’s a weird modality and help you keep processing.
If you've been trying EMDR for a while and you're not seeing a difference, check out this article on the Top 10 Reasons EMDR Doesn't Work.
Different Experiences in EMDR therapy
Everyone's experience during EMDR therapy is unique, and there's no right or wrong way to respond to your therapist's question. Truly. Whether you notice images, feelings, body sensations, thoughts, or distractions, each element offers insight into your inner world. Trust in the process and allow yourself to explore these different experiences as you work towards healing and growth.
Responding To Your EMDR Therapist When Uncertain
If you find yourself unsure of what to say when your EMDR therapist asks, "What do you notice?" know that it's okay. First, we want to check that you're not dissociating. Scroll down to read what to do if that's happening. If you don't feel checked out or dissociated, read on.
Expressing Uncertainty In EMDR Therapy
It's perfectly acceptable to acknowledge your uncertainty. You might say something like, "I'm not sure what I'm noticing right now," or "I'm feeling a bit unclear at the moment."
Option: Describe Physical Sensations To Your EMDR Therapist
If you're not sure about your thoughts or emotions, you can focus on physical sensations. You could mention any bodily sensations you're experiencing, such as tension in your shoulders, a fluttering in your stomach, or a heaviness in your chest.
Option: Describe Thoughts To Your EMDR Therapist
Even if you're uncertain, you can try to verbalize any thoughts that come to mind, even if they seem unrelated or random. For example, you might say, "I keep thinking about a particular image, but I'm not sure why it's coming up."
Option: Describe Emotions To Your EMDR Therapist
Even if you're unsure about specific emotions, you can still acknowledge any general feelings you're experiencing. You could say, "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed," or "I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, but it's intense."
Being Open to Exploration In EMDR Therapy
Remember that EMDR is an 8 phase process, and it's okay not to have all the answers immediately. Stay open to exploring whatever comes up during your sessions, even if it feels uncertain or uncomfortable. If you're uncertain about what your therapist is asking or how to respond, ask for clarification. Your therapist is there to support you and can provide guidance if needed.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. It's normal to feel uncertain or hesitant at times, but each step you take in therapy is a valuable part of your journey towards healing and self-discovery.
One Question, Many Answers
Just as every individual is unique, so too are responses to EMDR therapy. Some may experience strong visual imagery, while others may connect with their emotions. And many experience a blend of sensations, thoughts, and feelings. Embrace the diversity of your experience—it's what makes you authentically you.
In EMDR therapy, there's no right or wrong way to engage with the process. You can't "do" EMDR incorrectly; your EMDR therapist guides the session and ensures that you feel safe and supported throughout. If you feel good with your therapist and trust their training, you don't have to worry about doing anything correctly. Allow yourself to be present with whatever arises.
Understanding Dissociation in EMDR Therapy
Dissociation can significantly impact the effectiveness of EMDR therapy. It involves a disconnection between thoughts, emotions, sensations, and memories. It's a perfectly normal - sometimes even healthy - response to overwhelming experiences. During dissociation, you may feel detached from your surroundings, identity, or even your body. If this happens, it usually disrupts effective EMDR therapy.
Dissociation's Impact on EMDR Therapy
For those experiencing dissociation, effectively engaging in EMDR therapy can be challenging. Dissociative symptoms may interfere with your ability to access and process traumatic memories. This stalls progress in therapy. If this happens, tell your therapist right away. Your EMDR therapist likely needs to spend more time on resourcing you and helping you stay present. If they're not able to do that, find a different EMDR therapist.
Managing Dissociation in EMDR Therapy
Effective EMDR therapy for people who dissociate often involves lots of time spent building techniques to address dissociative symptom. If you can't engage in the process, the trauma won't get processed. We know this can be really frustrating for people who just want to feel better. But having improper resourcing is one of the most common reasons EMDR doesn't work. Therapists may focus on building grounding skills, enhancing distress tolerance, and increasing a sense of safety before starting EMDR reprocessing.
Difficulty Maintaining Focus in EMDR Therapy
Dissociation can lead to difficulties maintaining focus and concentration during EMDR sessions. Clients may struggle to stay present and engaged, making it harder to follow the therapist's guidance and participate. If you feel like this is happening, speak up. Ask your therapist to backtrack and help you work on ways to stay focused and present.
Recipe For Success: A Gradual Approach To EMDR Therapy
We understand that people seeking EMDR therapy often want to feel better quickly. We wish there was a magic wand to make that happen. But in reality, EMDR is not a quick fix. There may be many sessions before you actually talk about a specific trauma. Therapists who adopt a gradual approach to EMDR therapy often have better results. This is particularly true for clients with dissociative symptoms. It's important to start with building skills to manage dissociation and gradually introduce EMDR techniques as you become more grounded.
EMDR Processing For People Who Dissociate Is Possible
Dissociation can present significant challenges in EMDR therapy. But with specialized techniques, collaboration, and support, individuals experiencing dissociation can still benefit from EMDR therapy in healing from trauma.
Nurturing Self-Compassion During EMDR Therapy
As you go through your EMDR therapy journey, remember to extend compassion to yourself. It's natural to feel uncertain or vulnerable during EMDR sessions. Your EMDR therapist is there to guide you through the process with empathy and expertise.
Alexis Bibler, AMFT, EMDR therapist, listening to a client reflect during EMDR processing.
The next time your therapist asks, "What do you notice?" take a moment to tune into your inner landscape. Trust that whatever arises is valid and worthy of exploration. Embrace your experience and allow yourself to be fully present in the therapeutic process.
EMDR Therapists In Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Online EMDR Throughout California and Florida
If you're ready to explore EMDR therapy, our team of EMDR therapists is here to support you. Whether you're seeking trauma therapy for yourself or EMDR for teens, we offer personalized care tailored to your needs. Schedule a free consultation today and take the first step towards healing.
