Will EMDR Therapy Be Too Intense for Me?
It’s completely natural to feel nervous about starting trauma therapy. After all, who wants to relive the worst things that have happened to them? This is especially true when you’re considering something as powerful as EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It's common for people to worry that the process might feel too intense or overwhelming.
EMDR therapy should be adapted to fit your comfort level. A skilled EMDR therapist will always prioritize your safety and well-being. Here’s how EMDR therapy can be made manageable and safe, even if you’re feeling apprehensive.
Understanding the EMDR Therapy Process: It’s Not All at Once
One of the reasons people fear EMDR therapy may be too intense is the belief that it requires diving straight into the most painful or traumatic memories right away. This isn’t the case. EMDR therapy is an eight phase process that takes time to unfold. These phases ensure that you feel stable and supported throughout your healing journey.
The eight phases of EMDR therapy include:
History-taking and Treatment Planning. Your EMDR therapist gathers information about your history and helps you identify your therapy goals.
Preparation. You’ll learn about the EMDR process and work on building resources, like calming techniques, to help you stay grounded during sessions. For some people, this phase lasts a very long time. You can read about what the resourcing phase looks like and why it's so important here.
Assessment. You and your EMDR therapist will identify specific targets (memories or triggers) to work on during reprocessing.
Desensitization (Reprocessing). The reprocessing of memories using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping). You can read about different kinds of bilateral stimulation here.
Installation. Reinforcing new, positive beliefs that emerge during the processing.
Body Scan. Checking for any lingering tension or distress in the body.
Closure. Helping you regain a sense of stability and calm before ending the EMDR session.
Reevaluation. Assessing progress and determining next steps.
Though these eight phases are always present, the structure of EMDR allows for a slow and steady pace. Your EMDR therapist will only move forward when you feel ready, and you can always pause or slow down the process if needed.
Trust In Your EMDR Therapist Is Non-Negotiable
Though EMDR is a well-researched modality proven to treat trauma and PTSD, you won't get far if you don't trust your EMDR therapist. The intensity of EMDR can be intolerable if you don't feel you're in a safe environment. Any EMDR therapist who launches immediately into trauma processing without building up trust isn't practicing well. You should take your time and feel heard and understood by your therapist before you process anything.
We’re not advising that you trust blindly. Take time to make sure the trust is there before proceeding. If you’re unsure, talk about it with your EMDR therapist.
Building Resources Before Trauma Work
If you’re afraid that EMDR therapy might be too intense, one of the most important steps is resourcing and stabilization. This phase focuses on building up your toolkit so that you feel secure before addressing any traumatic memories. It’s okay to really take your time and ask your therapist to go deeper with this phase.
Resourcing Techniques May Include:
Calming exercises: Learning how to relax your body and mind during stressful moments.
Grounding techniques: These help you stay connected to the present moment and prevent you from becoming overwhelmed by past emotions.
Safe place visualizations: Imagining a peaceful place that you can mentally return to whenever you need a break during the session.
Resource team assembly: Identifying parts of yourself, your loved ones, and even public figures and fictional characters that give you a sense of calm, safety, and love.
The goal is to ensure that you feel grounded and in control before moving into any trauma processing work. Some clients spend many sessions building these resources before starting the reprocessing phase. It’s perfectly okay to take your time.
EMDR Therapy Is Tailored to You
One of the great things about EMDR therapy is that is highly personalized to fit your needs. Your therapist will work with you to create a safe, comfortable environment and will adjust the pace of therapy based on your comfort level.
Gradual Exposure
If you feel like jumping into certain memories is too overwhelming, EMDR therapy can be done in a more gradual way. You don’t have to go straight to the most intense memory right away. Your EMDR therapist might begin by addressing smaller, less distressing memories or emotions to help build up your confidence. Speak up for what you want!
Flexible Sessions
EMDR sessions can also be broken into smaller pieces if needed. If things start to feel too intense, you can pause the session, use a grounding technique, or come back to the memory later.
Different Styles of Bilateral Stimulation
Bilateral stimulation (BLS) is a core part of EMDR therapy, but it doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. If one method of BLS feels too intense for you, there are alternatives that might be more comfortable.
Eye Movements: Following a therapist’s hand or a light bar with your eyes.
Tapping: Lightly tapping on your legs or arms, either by yourself or with the therapist’s guidance.
Auditory Stimulation: Using headphones with alternating sounds or tones.
If you’re concerned that a particular form of BLS might be too much, talk to your therapist. They can adjust the method to something that feels better suited to your needs.
You’re in Control During EMDR Therapy
A common fear is that once you start EMDR therapy, you won’t be able to stop if things become overwhelming. But you are always in control of the process. There are no elements of hypnosis or mind control. You can stop whenever you want to. Your EMDR therapist should regularly check in with you. If at any point the therapy feels too intense, you can slow down, pause, or stop the session altogether.
EMDR therapists are trained to work at your pace, and they’re there to ensure that the therapy feels safe for you at all times. If it doesn't feel good to you, speak up.
When EMDR Therapy Might Need to Wait
For some people, there might be other factors at play that make it important to delay EMDR therapy until they’re more stabilized. If you’re currently in an unsafe situation, going through an especially difficult time or dealing with active crises, or need medical care first, your therapist might recommend other forms of therapy.
It’s okay if you’re not ready for EMDR right away. There’s no rush, and a good EMDR therapist will help you prepare and determine the right time to begin.
EMDR Can Be An Empowering Process
If you’re afraid that EMDR therapy will be too intense for you, remember that it’s a flexible, gradual process designed to keep you feeling safe and in control. The most important factor is feeling trust and safety with your EMDR therapist. From building up resources to customizing bilateral stimulation, your EMDR therapist should ensure the therapy is tailored to your comfort level. You shouldn't be thrown into the deep end—you’ll work at your own pace, with plenty of tools to help you along the way.
If you’re ready to explore EMDR therapy but are feeling hesitant, reach out to a skilled therapist who can answer your questions, address your concerns, and help you take the first steps toward healing. EMDR doesn’t have to be overwhelming; with the right support, it can be an empowering path to recovery.
