two hands holding each other with a very shiny engagement ring on one finger representing the power of couples therapy san francisco to help couples feel secure enough to get engaged

When is the right time to get engaged? It’s a major life milestone and not one to be taken lightly. If you are in a solid and loving relationship, you may find yourself wondering if you and your partner are ready to take the next step.

The Personal Timing of Getting Engaged

First things first, there is no “right time” to get engaged! The timeline will look different for every couple, with some being content to not get married at all. Getting married is a deeply personal decision and should reflect the values and readiness of both you and your partner. As hard as it is, try to tune out the expectations of others. You and your partner are the only ones who have full insight into the relationship.

Signs Your Relationship is Ready For Engagement

With that being said, here are some signs that you and your partner may be ready to get engaged:

1. You are aligned in your plans for the future

If you are going to share a life with your spouse, it is important to have general agreement on what that life will look like. What are your long-term goals? Where would you like to live? Are you wanting to have children? What are each of your personal definitions of marriage? Having open conversations about “Big Picture” items is a great first step.

2. You are able to have the hard conversations

clasped hands in the foreground showing an engagement ring with a woman's face in the background looking happy and surprised representing a couple who just go engaged after receiving good couples therapy san francisco or los angeles

If you are planning to sign up for a lifelong commitment, you can’t shy away from tricky topics. As unromantic as it seems it is crucial to have open and honest discussions about finances, relating to each other’s families, religion and even personal concerns about marriage. Ignorance is bliss, until it blows up in your face. Save yourself the shock of an unexpected surprise and have the tough conversations now. Plus, it a great practice in vulnerability and communication.

3. You’ve weathered a few storms together

Whether it was a rough patch in the relationship or external circumstances, you and your partner have battled through adversity and come out the other side. Knowing how to resolve conflict and meaningfully support one another during challenges is an important foundation for a successful marriage.

4. Your communication is solid

About The Author: Alexis Bibler, AMFT

Alexis is a dedicated trauma therapist who provides individual, teen, couples, and EMDR therapy. She focuses on creating a robust therapeutic alliance with every client.

Alexis takes pleasure in delving into personal narratives using various approaches, including enneagram therapy, attachment therapy, and holistic therapy. Outside of her professional work, she enjoys reading, spending quality time with friends and family, listening to Taylor Swift, and playing with her cat Finn.

She is currently welcoming new clients in California.

Healthy communication is vital in relationships. The ability to openly communicate needs, express gratitude and affection, manage conflict and engage in vulnerability cannot be understated. No relationship is perfect, and there is a good chance your communication could use some fine-tuning. It is important to examine roadblocks in you and your partner’s communication and make a commitment to work on it together. Ignoring glaring communication problems can lead to resentment later down the line. Couples therapy can be a great place to learn and practice communication skills!

5. It doesn’t feel scary

The idea of spending your life with your partner fills you with joy, not dread. Although it is normal to feel some nerves before any major life decision, it is generally outweighed by excitement for the future and a sense of safety and comfort.

6. You would be fine with eloping

Make sure you are getting married for the right reasons. As fun as a big white wedding can be, it is only one day of your life. Make sure you are just as (if not more excited) for all of the days that come after “I Do”. Imagine a scenario where must choose between the wedding of your dreams or a simple elopement with your current partner. If you chose the latter, congrats, you have found your forever person!

Support For Big Life Events Like Engagement, Getting Married, and Beyond For Individuals And Couples In California and Florida

Even happy big events can be stressful. If you’re thrilled to be getting engaged but also feeling stress, you’re normal. If you’d like a trusted therapist to walk alongside you during this big transition, schedule a free consultation today. There’s no pressure to book. You deserve support and to be the best version of you during this season and beyond.