The
BLOG
How Couples Can Be Less Codependent And Move Toward Interdependence
While closeness in a relationships feels good, losing your independent sense of self isn't good for anyone. Transitioning from codependence to interdependence—a state where partners support each other while maintaining their own identities—requires effort. Here's how to do it.
What is Codependency? A Couples Therapist Explains
The term "codependency" is used to describe relationships where one person seems to lose themselves in the needs of another. Originally rooted in the context of addiction and substance use, the term has broadened to include a range of unhealthy relational dynamics. Let’s explore what codependency is and how it manifests in relationships.
What to Do If Your Partner is Smothering You
If you feel like your partner is smothering you, it's important to address the issue in a way that respects both your needs and theirs. Understanding why this might be happening through the lens of attachment can be a helpful first step in finding relief for both of you.
Five Ways Internalized Homophobia is Ruining Your Relationship
We can't live in a society that discriminates against us LGBT folks and not have it effect us. It also affects our closest, most sacred relationships. Here are subtle ways it might be showing up and what to do about it.
What’s the Difference? Relationship Dealbreakers, Incompatibilities & Perpetual Problems
Relationships are beautifully complex. They can be challenging, with issues that test the strength of your bond. Understanding the differences between dealbreakers, incompatibilities, perpetual problems, and differences in core values can help you navigate your relationship better and determine when couples therapy might be needed.
Deep, Meaningful Relationships Are The True Markers of Health and Success
We often measure success by our job titles, salaries, and material possessions. It's become too easy to prioritize external achievements and milestones. Yet, research consistently shows that the true cornerstone of happiness lies in the quality of our relationships. Whether it's with family, friends, or partners, these connections have a profound impact on our life satisfaction. Here's why, and how millennials can create more depth in our relationships.
Healthy Relationships: How To Repair After a Rupture
If you've never learned the art of healthy repair, you're not alone. Many people don't have positive models for how to repair after a rupture. Rest assured, it's a skill that can be cultivated over time. Here's how to start repairing relationships after a rupture, whether it's with a partner, friend, colleague, or family member.
Internalized Homophobia in Lesbian Couples: Overcoming Through LGBT Couples Therapy
Life is a shared journey when you're part of a couple. Like any journey, it has its share of challenges. One significant challenge that can impact a lesbian relationship's health is internalized homophobia. Its effects can be simple but profound: feelings of shame, guilt, or self-rejection that stem from prejudices against non-straight people.
Proven Kinds Of Therapy: What They Are And When They’re Helpful
Evidence-based practices are essential foundations in therapy. They're supported by research and clinical experience. Not all therapists use them, and some of these methods may not work for everyone. Here's a brief explanation of different types of therapy and alternatives to consider if these practices don't work for you.
How To Support A Partner Who Has Sexual Trauma
What do you do when your partner has been the victim of sexual trauma and you want to support them? What if you still want to have a great sex life together? We'll walk you through the most common responses to sexual trauma and how to be a supportive, loving partner.
Podcast: What Straight Couples Can Learn From LGBT Couples
Our clinical director is featured on the Empowered Relationship podcast with Dr. Jessica Higgins. She reviews what LGBT couples can teach straight couples and what to look for in a great LGBT couples therapist.
Can Couples Therapy Make Things Worse?
Couples therapy can be a pivotal intervention for relationships facing challenges. But it's not without its potential pitfalls. One common concern is whether couples therapy can make things worse. And yes, sometimes it can make things worse. Let's explore how and why that might happen and what to do about it.
Sex After Sexual Trauma: How To Be A Good Lover To A Survivor
When and how to approach sex with someone who has been assaulted can be tricky business. Every experience is different, and no amount of research or good intention can replace healthy communication with your partner. Here's what you should know about how to be a great partner, spouse, lover, or friend-with-benefits to someone who has been sexually assaulted or raped.
What We Can Learn From Michelle Obama’s Experience In Couples Therapy
Couples often come to therapy at a point of crisis or significant life changes. The hope is for a sudden, dramatic turnaround in the relationship. And it's totally possible to change. We've seen it happen. But a roadblock arises when someone expects their partner to be the sole catalyst for change. Even Michelle Obama experienced this. Let's explore why this can be problematic and why a different approach is key in couples therapy.
When Couples Therapy Is A Bad Idea
Couples therapy can be a powerful resource for improving relationships. But there are situations in which couples therapy may not be advisable or effective. Here are the most common reasons couples therapy might be a bad idea.
13 Ways To Support Your Anxious Partner
It's hard when your partner is going through something you can't fix. Anxiety can be a challenging experience, not just for the person going through it but also for their partner. If your loved one is dealing with anxiety, it's hard to know where to start. Here are 13 practical strategies for being there for your partner.
Couples Therapy Isn't Always About Staying Together
Couples therapy is often seen as a last-ditch effort to salvage a relationship. But the goal of couples therapy isn't always keeping couples together. A good therapist is committed to ensuring that both parties find the path that's best for them. In some cases, therapy might lead to a couple making the difficult decision to part ways. And that's okay! Let's explore how therapy can help couples separate with integrity.
Rethinking Outdated Marriage Advice: Beyond "Happy Wife, Happy Life"
When it comes to relationship advice, one old adage that keeps echoing is "Happy wife, happy life." It's a well-meant sentiment, but it's time to rethink this age-old saying. The notion of permanent happiness and self-sacrifice can be problematic. This is true in any relationship, regardless of gender. It's time move from this simplistic adage into a more empowered approach to marital happiness.
Video: The Importance Of LGBT-Affirmative Couples Therapy
Our clinical director is featured on the CalPsychiatry MindStories podcast talking about the importance of LGBT Affirmative couples therapy. Listen in as she talks about what’s different - and what’s the same - compared to straight couples therapy.
7 Things That Can’t Be Fixed in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can address many issues, but there are certain situations where the challenges are too big. Here are the seven most common things couples therapy can't change.
Our latest podcast guest episodes
Listen to what our therapists are talking about on the latest podcasts and more!
AS FEATURED IN:
Our Teletherapy Services In California & Florida
We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles teletherapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!