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7 Things That Can’t Be Fixed in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can address many issues, but there are certain situations where the challenges are too big. Here are the seven most common things couples therapy can't change.
Healing the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic in Relationships: A Path to Harmony
Do you ever feel like your partner is trying to get away from you? Not in a literal sense, but subtly. This feeling likely shows up when they don't express affection or move toward you the way you do for them. It might look like needing a lot of alone time, ignoring your bids for affection, or struggling to communicate their feelings. You know they love you, but it doesn't always feel like it. If this sounds familiar, you might be caught in the frustrating Pursuer-Distancer dynamic.
Your Couples Therapist Is Not a Referee
It’s normal, and sometimes even healthy, to argue in relationships. It’s also normal to want to seek out validation for your feelings, especially if you feel like your partner isn’t being receptive. It's tempting to see things as black and white. But when couples start to view their therapist as a referee, therapy gets derailed.
The Truth About Lies in Relationships: Why We Lie and How to Handle It
We've all had those moments when a little white lie slips out. Whether it's about traffic, busyness, or how good that homemade lasagna is. Lying is part of human communication, and not all lies are bad. In fact, many are told with the best intentions, aimed at preserving relationships and sparing feelings. But when the truth eventually surfaces, trust can waver.
Dealing With Challenging In-Laws: How Couples Should Handle Complex Dynamics
They say that why you marry someone, you marry their family. While some in-laws become beloved members of your extended family, others present challenges. It takes skill to navigate these complexities while preserving the unity of your chosen family. Let's explore various types of challenging in-laws and how to communicate with your spouse.
What To Do If Your Couples Therapist Is Taking Your Partner's Side
When tensions rise, it's difficult to feel heard. Good couples therapy seeks to make sure everyone feels heard and understood. But not all couples therapists know when someone feels therapy is unfair. Unfortunately, feeling like your couples therapy isn't balanced or fair happens too often. If couples therapy feels lopsided, here are some suggestions.
What To Do When One of the “4 Horsemen” Appears In Your Relationship
Few things feel as stressful as conflict and tension in our closest relationships. It can feel especially threatening when you encounter one of the infamous "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." These four toxic behaviors can unleash chaos in your relationship if left unchecked. But don't worry! We've got actionable strategies to combat them and repair your connection.
What to Do If Your Partner Won't Go to Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is a great tool for strengthening relationships. It can help you navigate the hardest parts of a partnership and come out stronger on the other side. But what do you do when you know it's time for therapy, but your partner won't budge? The journey to convince them can be tricky, but with a blend of patience and empathy, it's possible to get them on board.
8 Reasons Couples Therapy Doesn't Work
Couples therapy is a powerful tool that can help couples strengthen their relationships. But it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. It's certainly not fool-proof. In some cases, couples may find that therapy doesn't yield the expected results. Understanding the reasons behind this can help you make the most out of your therapy experience.
10 Signs You Should Start Couples Therapy Before a Crisis
Once upon a time you'd found the love of your life, and everything seemed great. Those new-relationship hormones were raging. It was hard to imagine anything would feel hard. But over time, the hormones settle and patterns start to emerge. You might still feel great love for your partner, but wish some things were different.
Balancing Commitment, Friendship, and Passion: A Guide for Couples
A long term relationship should have three elements: commitment, friendship, and passion. When these elements are in equilibrium, relationships thrive. But when they're not, people feel unsatisfied and anxious. Let's explore what each part means, the challenges that arise when they go missing, and how couples therapy can help restore balance.
Navigating Virtual Codependency: Balancing Online and Offline Love
The way we connect with our partners has changed drastically with technology. While technology has enriched our lives in many ways, it has also given rise to virtual codependency. Virtual codependency happens when a couple becomes too intertwined with their phones and social media.
Choosing the Right Approach: Gottman Method Couples Therapy, EFT, and Imago Therapy
When couples seek therapy, they have various approaches to choose from. But how do you know which one to choose? Without special training in therapy, it can feel overwhelming. It's okay if you don't know where to start. Three popular approaches are Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Imago Couples Therapy. Let's explore the differences between these approaches and how they can help couples.
Is There Such a Thing as Unconditional Love? A Therapist Weighs In
The concept of unconditional love is often depicted as the purest, most noble form of love. It knows no bounds or limitations. The thought of it feels good. But is unconditional love truly attainable?
5 Daily Habits For Lasting Love From Couples Therapists
Every couple encounters challenges on their journey together. The key to a thriving relationship often lies in the daily habits you cultivate. As couples therapists serving major cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles, we understand the importance of research in this area. In this article, we'll explore Gottman's Small Daily Habits and how they can improve your relationship.
Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse: Resolving Conflict in Couples Therapy
It’s a scene you know too well: You and your partner are having a conversation, and before you know it, it escalates into a heated argument. You both leave the conversation feeling upset and more distant than before. Sometimes it feels like an emotional apocalypse within our relationships. Here’s what’s actually going on and what to do about it.
Five Texting Tips From A Therapist For a Closer Relationship
Texting has become an integral part of our romantic relationships. As couples therapists, we’ve seen firsthand the impact that texting can have on couples' connections. Here are our top 5 texting tips to help couples maintain a closer bond through digital communication.
How Shared Goals Can Strengthen Your Relationship
All couples want to feel close. Common goals for couples therapy are to reduce conflict and improve communication. But what comes after that? One of the key findings from Dr. John Gottman's studies is that setting goals in a relationship can lead to the ultimate stage of connection: a sense of shared meaning.
Signs Your Relationship is Strong Enough to Get Engaged According To A Therapist
When is the right time to get engaged? It’s a major life milestone and not one to be taken lightly. If you are in a solid and loving relationship, you may find yourself wondering if you and your partner are ready to take the next step.
LGBT Couples Therapy: Things Your Couples Therapist Should Understand
Some well-meaning therapists say that LGBT couples therapy is no different than therapy for straight people. As great as that would be if that were true, it’s dismissive. Here are six very concrete ways LGBT couples therapy is different than therapy for straight couples.
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We offer individualized teletherapy for a wide range of mental health and relational issues. Our San Francisco & Los Angeles teletherapists can help with anxiety, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, LGBT issues, holistic therapy, enneagram therapy, therapy for lawyers, couples therapy, and therapy for teenagers. We serve many people in San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Los Angeles, as well as throughout California and Florida. Our team is anti-racist, body positive, LGBT and trans affirming and sex positive. You deserve to feel good!